The Fashionable Shark: Poolwear

I am a fan of being different. I can't stand uniformity and it goes against the very core of my being as much as I hate the pathetic whining of Veruca Salt and her absolute desire for a Golden Ticket.

That being said, my eyes hone in on what is aesthetically pleasing.

And here's one that will make you the envy of all: the Speedo Next Corset Back.

How can you not like a Moulin Rouge-style swimsuit?

I'm not too crazy about the print however...

If you were to ask (and then again, you might not), I would love to see John Galliano do some of his Dior magic for this suit.

Can you imagine this suit with a print from his 10 years of Dior collection?

Being a fan of woodblock prints, I can imagine this piece on this suit, for example:

Sans the collar, this suit would look pretty damn hot.

Men's suits are incredibly boring, in comparison. Granted, I'm not sure if I like this kind of swirly print on a long legged jammer for men but there has to be something more creative than just black shorts.

I understand that perhaps the regular male breeder does not like anything remotely ostentatious. I understand that perhaps rhinestones and feathers are not their thing. I understand all that. But can someone explain to me the fashionable aspect of jammers like these? And these are from Speedo's 2010 collection!

I am quite at a loss....

And several other brands have picked up the trend. The Orca CL-R Square Leg, for example:

I really do not understand....

So I implore the Couture Fairy to grant those efficient, performance-minded designers a little insight to the beauty of a garment, even if it is to sweat and get dirty in. I am a staunch believer that if you got it, flaunt it.

And believe me, tri-fit bodies have definitely got it. Why not look good?

I'm all for a retro-Tron look. Let me just get my belly in order and we'll talk....