Triathlons: Hitting the Gym

I had mentioned how I had lost my mojo. In the subsequent days since, I realized that I need exercise and physical activity like I need to breathe. I start bouncing off the walls and can’t sit still. But I don’t feel like training. I know I can do the distance: I just don’t feel like I’m excited enough to do so.

But I need to do something so in order to keep active, I’ve decided to get back into the gym. In this day and age, it has become a lot more important to me than before. I still believe in meeting people in the flesh. With social media, you can make tons of online friends in different parts of the world but I value the action of going up to someone and actually talking to them. Seeing their body language, listening to their goofy laugh, reacting to eye contact. And for me, the gym is a place where you can still do that.

The gym crowd can be broken up into a couple of defined categories.

The Gym Rat: usually men, who spend an abnormal amount of time in the gym (and don’t hold a job there) and work on the upper half of their bodies, complete disregard given to their legs.
The Alpha-Female: women who do a variety of things that seem to or does attract the attention of men in the gym. Whether it’s taking off their shirts to reveal a very toned midriff, wearing very low-cut tops to show cleavage or wearing clothing that have ridiculously non-functional bias-cuts in areas that don’t need them: on the side of the legs, over the cleavage area, etc. or doing suggestive poses or movements that are supposed to be toning exercises but are reminiscent of pole dancing done poorly.

I like watching this all go down because it makes me feel like I’m watching an episode of Wild World of Animals.

I’m friends with a guy who happens to be a police commissioner and feels the need to be packing a gun. He leaves it with the gym receptionist while he works out. I’ve asked him if he could take me to the shooting range with him so that he can teach me to shoot. He still laughs it off but I know he’ll take me to the range one day.

T-Bone is 6’5 and is the only gym rat I know who works out everything evenly. He’s got the biggest guns I’ve seen on anyone and leg presses all four racks stacked and loaded with 45 lbs disks. I like the fact that I look his age even though I’m 11 years his senior.
I think the only ones he sees eye to eye with are birds.

Triathlons: Five Things They Don’t Ever Tell You

With Lance Armstrong and his road to Calvary, the sport of triathlon is in the media spotlight. Triathlons are getting to be more popular because we see buff men and women (and sometimes, celebrities), crowds cheering you on and a happy finish. But there are a lot of things that aren’t spoken of. Lots of stuff that you only find out about when you actually do one. The following are a set of tips for those doing triathlons in hot and humid climates, in particular long distance one:

1. If you do a long triathlon (70.3 or longer), you might need to pee on the way. I’ve only done them in Cancun and there are no port-o-lets on the run nor bike. And if you are ingesting a lot of water, that’s going to have to come out someday. Since you’re bobbing up and down on the run, that may be the moment to watch out.
2. Sweating in dark tri suits will show up in white, jagged sweat lines around the parts that had been sweating, making for potentially embarrassing moments.
3. Once peed-on shoes stink. Forever.
4. Water is your best friend, especially if you are peeing like in #1 or sweating like in #2. Pretend you need to cool off and spray yourself. You’ll avoid the deathly stench of sweat and urine once you dry off and find yourself in the elevator on the way back to your room.
5. Test out your bike for those long rides so that you can avoid chaffing. Or lather yourself with the sport lubricant (personal lubrication would do you no good, especially if it’s water-based) of your choice beforehand. I ran with a woman and she had at one point stopped, sat down in a puddle and started throwing water on herself. When I asked what in tarnation was she doing, she said that her bike seat had chaffed her and when she had peed, it was stinging. She needed the water to wash it off.

Lance Armstrong. The photo itself could be its own post.

You couldn’t make this stuff up. Word to the wise, kids: for a pleasant Ironman experience (as it were), keep these words close to the heart. 

Swimming: The Speedo Hip Rotator Belt

For all my tri and swim buddies, this one is for you.

Just recently, I sat myself down and looked my problems straight in the eye: I can't swim fast. At all.

So I did a video of myself in the pool because  seeing as that I’ve been swimming for four years, I should be going as fast as my companions.

And I’m not.

So I broke down and contacted Kevin Koskella and asked him to look at my video.

Verdict? Aside from my head position, everything else was pretty crap.

Speedo Hip Rotator: Buzz Lightyear, watch out!

One of my problems was that hips were too flat in the water so I decided to correct that and dusted off the Speedo Hip Rotator.

I’m a Gadget Queen. I like tech and tools but to be completely honest, I never knew what I needed the rotator for until that golden moment when I got that assessment of my swim. This belt was probably collecting dust for a good three years.

It’s basically a thick belt with Velcro which you first have to belt on you. Then you pull out the little orange shark fins and stick them on. It’s pretty thick Velcro so I’ve never had them slide or fall off.

Before, when I didn’t know what the rotator was for, I would take it to the pool, look like a very warped version of Buzz Lightyear and try not to hit the orange fins.

Now that I know, I make a very conscious effort to turn my hips while I concentrate on my stroke. It is almost to the point of exaggerating the turn of the hips.

I like pretending I'm a washing machine when I do that, kind of like a swimming version of Glenn Close in that scene from "The Stepford Wives", when she gives "exercise" class and they all daintily move like a washing machine.

Why turning your hips while you swim through with your stroke (think washing machine) is important is because it helps propel you. You cut through the water easier and you’re not fighting. My arms and legs were working a little too hard and weren’t helping me get anywhere fast.

Now to work on the rest of it.

God, I train too much to go this slow, dammit. I DESERVE TO GO FAST!

I'll keep you updated.

Thick-Skinned: Wet Suit Tips

I swim in an outdoor pool which is great in the summers but really crap during the winters. It is Cancun but the water still gets cold enough to be thoroughly uncomfortable. And the wind chill factor is pretty harrowing as well.

So I wear a wet suit in the pool.

There are a couple of tips about wearing a wet suit.

First of all, it's called a "wet suit" for a reason: you're wet inside the suit. There are also "dry suits" (mostly for cave diving and diving in frigid waters) which keep you dry. The difference with wearing one and not is that it keeps you warm. The way a wet suit does that is that the water that gets into your suit and is held close enough to your skin so that it heats quickly. The water inside the suit acts as a buffer and keeps you even more warm inside the suit.

Tip #1: make sure the wet suit fits and is especially flush against your crotch. This is to avoid choking yourself from the pull of the suit around your neck.

Tip 2: if you are planning to do paddle or fin work, bring them to poolside before you hop in. If you get out after swimming for a bit, because of gravity, the water creating a shield of warmth between your body and your suit will rush out and smooth the suit downwards causing it to sit lower on your body. Once that happens, it will be very hard to get back into place and will be very uncomfortable to swim in.

Tip #3: Because it's chlorine, you'll need to soak and rinse the suit thoroughly once you get home. Dry the suit inside out so that the lining dries first.

To Pee or Not To Pee

A little over ten years ago, I was getting my wrist operated on. It was local anesthesia, which implied taking my arm out of the hospital gown, painting my arm with antiseptic and injecting the drug into my armpit. They painted from my fingers all the up to my armpit and in a moment of distraction, my right breast was exposed.

In that moment, 12 doctors rushed in and out of the OR.

I gave up being prude in that moment.

And so must you be during a long distance triathlon.

Someone once asked me if we triathletes ever feel like going to the bathroom.

"Of course," I replied.

"So...what do you do?"

That's easy: just pee on yourself.

The quicker you get over the social stigma of peeing on yourself, the better off you'll be. And, I can tell you from experience, that holding it screws up your system. I once held it in during a 5km swim. My stomach swelled quite a bit and it hurt so badly that I felt a bit queasy all day.

Have you ever seen a triathlete, while biking, stands up on the bike and throws the hips to the side? Ever wonder why? That is, my friends, the discreet art of peeing down your leg so that you don't get your chain. And you don't want to get your chain because it'll be detrimental to bike mechanics.

Your shoes, however, will risk being stinky.

Peeing in the water is easier. Just a mental prayer saying sorry to the poor sod behind you and you're on your way.

The first time I peed on myself was on the run. The easy way to cover that up is to douse yourself with water. That way, your shoes won't be too smelly by the end of the day.

This is the one thing I would actually recommend practicing on race day. I can justify a lot better the fact that I have smelly shoes because of a competition than for a training day. It feels like a waste of one more day that your shoes can be "clean."

But it's your call. It's definitely not glamorous but you do feel a lot better for it.

Listen to Me: Earphones

Standard Apple iPod Earphones

If you're anything like me, you like a bit of music after a workout.

I used to put on my iPod and go home after the pool. Which is fine but since my pool is uber chlorinated, I found this was a bad thing for my earphones.

The grey ring that is right near the netted area is a soft rubber that, with chlorine, starts to peel off.

Since I don't really rinse out my ears, the chlorine still in them burned through the rubber.

Scary.

So I've stopped listening to music but got a new pair of earphones which turned out to be an excellent investment.

Bose IE2 Earphones

The Bose IE2 Earphones are a pretty versatile option. With the Bose name backing up its quality, it's pretty easy to see why these cost a bit more than their Apple counterparts.

These come with another pair of removable earbuds, just in case these don't fit. They also have that hook on the top, which is really soft and fits snug inside your ear. Great for when you're working out or on a run. They don't slip out with a simple turn of the head when you see a cute guy run past and sweat won't dislodge them.

There is also a soft zip up case that I was a little iffy about. Soft cases in a purse like mine don't really last too long. This, however, has taken the ton of books that I have and it still looks new.

Kate Spade Knightsbridge Gia Flat Pouch

I don't know why but since Kate Spade is doing all those nice iPhone covers, I thought of this little number as a replacement case.

Identify Yourself: The Road ID

Wrist ID Elite

I've been living in a foreign country for about 15 years now and when I started training for triathlons, this implied long rides and runs in places where people are scarce. I'm also the type of person who trains alone and it hit me one day that if something were to happen to me, there would be no way that I could tell the people I love where I am. No one I know out of all my friends, knows all my friends. Not even my parents.

So I wrote up a will and got myself a Road ID.

People ask me about it all the time. 'What is that?' they would say.

FIXX ID

It comes in several different versions: the dog tag,

Shoe ID

the shoe tag,

Ankle ID

the anklet,

Wrist ID Sport

the bracelet.

I've got a bracelet and I never take it off.

They come in different colors and styles and if you happen to have an allergy or a medical condition, this is a good thing to have around. And if you're training a lot by yourself, get yourself one. They ship worldwide and are always a good thing to have.